Conditionally Yours
by Kyoshi7989
Summary: Sokka and Toph are getting married. So of course there'd be a few conditions, right? Tokka Oneshot.


_Tokka Week: Day 1_

_Prompt: Betrothal_

"We should get married."

Sokka popped it out of nowhere one night as Toph was sitting cross legged on his living room floor, absently sipping her ginseng tea. For a moment, she considered spitting it across the room as way of an answer, but decided against it.

Then, Toph though that maybe she should act like one of those swoony girls and fall into his arms with some cheesy line like "I thought you'd never ask."

That was a quick no, whether or not she _had_ been thinking the exact same thing these past few weeks.

At last, Toph settled on the scariest option of them all: a two-on-two heart to heart discussion. Or perhaps "stomach-to-stomach" would be a more accurate term, given her present company.

Setting the cup down on the earthen table beside her, she raised an eyebrow.

"Married." Toph tested the sound of it in her mouth. Taking another sip of tea, she swished it around her mouth and swallowed before leaning back against the couch and asking simply, "Why?"

"I have lots of reasons," Sokka defended. "_Lots_ of them."

"Then let's here them," Toph replied, smirking slightly. "I wanna know why you're asking me to marry you. Which, by the way, could have been a bit more romantic."

Her face flushed as she realized what she'd just said. "Not that I'm complaining," Toph added quickly, shuddering at the thought of what Sokka could turn 'romantic' into. "At all. Whatsoever."

To Toph's relief, Sokka was too busy counting out the reasons on his fingers to notice her near save. "Aha! I got all three of 'em," he announced proudly, puffing out his chest.

"Three?" Toph asked skeptically. "Wow, Sokka," she said sarcastically, "_You_ sure have been working the old noggin."

"Sure have," he beamed back at her. "You wanna hear them?"

Sighing, Toph plopped her chin in her hands and closed her eyes for the sake of it. "Sure. Why not."

"Well, first," Sokka began, "Zuko's proposing to Mai tomorrow night, and no _way_ am I letting that..." He wrinkled his nose, searching for the proper description. "That _lady loser_ get married before me."

Toph sniggered, and rose up, stretching, to plop back down right next to him on the couch. "I'm listening."

"Second," Sokka continued, "Katara's been nagging me."

"You're not the only one," Toph muttered, scowling as she recalled Katara's various insistences, from _just drop a hint_ to _I want to be an Auntie, dammit_!

"And third…" A smile flitted across his face as he looped one arm around Toph. "I love you."

"Hm." She thought on this.

Zuko _or_ Mai getting married before her was, frankly, a rather depressing prospect. However long the two had been together, marriage was always a little ways off…until, the Council had begun bothering Zuko about "getting me a few grandchildren—err, grandnieces and nephews—to lug around the Jasmine Dragon."

The "Council" was, of course, Iroh, and if Zuko had not agreed to propose, it had been confided in her by the General himself—with a sly wink—that a certain Firelord would soon be the victim of subtle innuendo. Or, not-so-subtle innuendo.

As for Reason Number 2—well, Sugar Queen was a nagger and would keep nagging until they were throwing the bouquet, no question's asked.

Personally, though, Toph liked Reason Number 3 the best. It was nice to think that Sokka loved her—though he'd already said it a four hundred and eighty three times (she'd counted), often under the influence of cactus juice—and it was equally nice to realize she loved him back.

Or, perhaps, the realization was simply infuriating; Toph couldn't quite decide.

But, taking everything into consideration, her choice was actually pretty damn obvious.

"Given the fact that Zuko _is_, in fact, romantically impaired, that your sister will forever continue nagging until we get hitched, and that you love me…" Toph shrugged. "Married it is. So," she clarified, for certain party member's benefit, "my answer is yes."

"Oh…okay then." Sokka look stunned, and swallowed, with some difficulty. "Yeah. You said yes. That's…good."

"Oh, come on," Toph laughed, punching him in the arm (to label it 'affectionately' would be a long shot). "You didn't honestly think I'd say _no_, did you?" Shaking her head, she continued, "You do know there are going to be some _conditions_ with this…right?"

Sokka felt fear prickle at the back of his neck. He gulped. Trying to sound as brave as he could (and failing), Sokka asked nervously, "What _kind_ of conditions?"

"Oh," the earthbender shrugged, simpering sweetly, "Just three. Like your reasons, remember? First—no snoring, 'kay? 'Cause I travelled with you for just a bout six months, and, well, to put it bluntly I would have preferred Azula's machine."

"I—I do _not_ snore!" he protested indignantly, while surreptitiously raising his hand to his nose, as if to check. Sokka glowered at his sort-of fiancé. "And I resent that last comment."

"Whatever, it's true," Toph shrugged, smiling slightly, as if to say, _what the hell, I love you anyway_. "Okay, Condition Number 2," she went on, "I am not cooking. Period. So either enroll in gourmet chef school, or get ready for take out."

Sokka was beginning to say that he'd tried cooking once—yeah, didn't really work out—but cut himself off. "Take out?" he mused, eyes narrowing in thought. "You thinking baked, or fried?"

"Grilled."

"…Darn you." Now Sokka was full out _sulking_. These conditions were getting _way_ out of hand.

"And Condition Number 3…" For a moment, Toph wavered. "Condition Number 3," she repeated severely, after her longest pause yet, "is that _better_ stick with me your whole damn life, because if you don't then—then—"

She hesitated. "Well, y'know, Snoozles." Toph cleared her throat. "I'd be pissed at you. And stuff." Ducking her head, Toph soon gained back her spunk. "So," she announced, "I guess if you can agree to all those…we're getting married." Tapping her chin, Toph grinned, "I'm thinking it's Condition Number 1 that gets the best of you…"

Half of him wanted to disagree—Condition Number 2 was _so _much more likely to be his downfall—but he had bigger things to think on.

Sokka hadn't quite expected Toph to say yes when he made his proposal—at least not right now. There was something he needed to get through, before it started bugging him too much. After all, the subject couldn't very well come up on their _honeymoon_, when they were too busy fu—err, fraternizing to do anything else.

"Toph." He looked at her seriously, and the smirk immediately dropped from her face.

"What?" she asked, the tiniest bit of insecurity worming its way into her heart.

"You're sure you want to do this?" Sokka asked with total sincerity.

Toph let out her breath. "Of course I am, Snoozles," she grinned, giving him an affectionate punch on the arm as she pulled herself into his lap.

"_Really_, _truly_, sure?" He sounded doubtful, as though the earthbender might be pulling a trick on him. In all honesty, he wouldn't put it past her.

"Well…" Toph considered this, and set a grave expression on her face. "Actually, I _do_ have doubts about the whole snoring issue—"

"Wait!" Sokka interrupted desperately, hugging Toph close to him as if to prevent her from leaving. "I can change!"

Toph smirked, and settled her head on his chest. The steady, reassuring pulse of his heart thudded back at her. "Is that so."

He grinned, relieved. "Well, yeah. If…" Sokka began suddenly, "_If_ you can put up with a kid. Or three."

"I suppose," she sighed with mock disappointment. "_If_ you can make sure to stop snoring."

"I'm sure our marriage is worth the sacrifice," Sokka nodded, shrugging.

"Then…" Toph's heart was pounding in her ears. Never in her wildest musings had she imagined this moment, becoming engaged to _Sokka_. She just wasn't sure whether marrying the oaf was a dream or a nightmare.

"If we've reached a mutual agreement," she said in a business-like tone, "all that's left it to shake on it." Toph paused. "I guess," she said softer than before, a small glow of a smile lighting up her face, "we're getting married."

Sokka broke into an ear-splitting grin, and slipped his hand through Toph's to give it a firm shake. "It's a deal."

* * *

**A/N: **I know--sickeningly cute, right? Lol. Now I gotta go work on two different oneshots, the next chapter of two--no, three different stories--and a requestfic for 12Runaway15. Damn, I really _do _gotta go!

Anyway, I hope you liked it :D And I hope you'll tell me what you thought of it in a review.


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